you’re random mood swings are giving me whiplash. just so you know, you and your beautiful soul are tearing me apart. you always say she’s no you and we end up right back in the water. but it’s over, so take your sweet time runnin’ away from everything we had. and when you and you’re new girl crash and burn i’ll be waiting to tell you i told you so. but for now, just go.
haha that was horrible, i tried to make a play on j’mac’s songs but i failed..epically ahaha oh welll.
So here’s the thing. People always tell you ‘just be you, i love you for who you are,’ So i did that. I just…was me. and I ended up pushing someone I only wanted to draw closer, away from me. SO, I’m at a loss. I tell someone I love them, they say this isn’t going to work. I tell someone that i care about them, they say they need time to work things out. I be myself cause that’s what I’m told to do, and they say they’re not ready for it. Seriously, I’m sorry I can’t be perfect but c’mon. What do you want from me? -.-
It’s getting ridiculous really. The whole open yourself up, just to get shut back closed.
So, in the words of Demi Lovato.. “Don’t say you’re sorry, cause I’m not gonna listen.” You can take your fake apologies and your empty promises and shove them right up your ass. Cause I’m done
oh you silly, silly girl. how could you be such a fool?
Literally, the best song ever. :]
Now you told me on a Sunday
That it wasn’t gonna work
I tried to cry myself to sleep
‘Cause it was supposed to hurt
We sat next to the fire
As the flame was burning out
I knew what you were thinking
Before you say it aloud
Don’t say you’re sorry
‘Cause i’m not even breaking
You’re not worth the time that this is taking
I knew better
Than to let you break my heart
The soul you’ll never see again
Won’t be showing scars
You still love her
I can see it in your eyes
The truth is all that I can feel
Everytime you lie
Everytime you lie
Everytime you lie
I woke up the next morning
With a smile on my face
And a long list of gentlemen
Happy to take your place
Less trashier, Much classier
Then who you prove to be
How long’s it ganna take before
You see that she’s no me
Oh no
I knew better
Than to let you break my heart
The soul you’ll never see again
Won’t be showing scars
Oh no no
You still love her
I can see it in your eyes
The truth is all that I can hear
Everytime you lie
At night no way
I won’t be sleeping til morning breaks
That’s the price you pay for your mistakes
Goodbye to cheating
So don’t say you’re sorry
‘Cause I’m not gonna listen
I knew better
Than to let you break my heart
The soul you’ll never see again
Won’t be showing scars
Oh no no
You still love her
I can see it in your eyes
The truth is all that I can hear
Everytime you lie
Oh
Everytime you lie
Don’t say you’re sorry
Everytime you lie
Don’t say you’re sorry
Oohh
The truth is all that I can hear
Everytime you lie
How do you tell someone you love them, without the risk of losing them entirely? You build a friendship with them, get close to them..and before you know it..you’re sitting there..missing them when they’re not around. You’re mind is stuck on them, no matter how hard you try to focus on something else.
But no matter how much you start to fall for them, or how much you want to just tell them that you want them to be the one to hold you when you cry…you can’t. You can’t let then know that you’re falling madly for them. So what do you do?
Take the highroad and bottle your feelings? Or do you open up and hope for the best?I wish there was a right answer. I wish there was a way to tell you without all of the risks floating in the back of my head.
Its like no matter what I do, I’m always wrong. I take two steps foward just to get knocked 3 steps back. I try to move on, and I get yelled at for it. What do you people want from me? I try to just pick up the pieces and start over but everytime I’m that much closer something comes and breaks me down again.
Why is it SO hard for everyone to just let me be happy? Seriously would it kill you to just let me be me? I don’t get why I’m forced to be someone I’m not just for your personal pleasures.
I’m losing myself to the point of no return. I don’t even know who I am anymore.
dangerrangerxD (9:33:12 PM): Jacob and you met him……hm…at a shop. he was visiting from….panama O_O haha chelseaxmcnamara (9:33:32 PM): O.O LMFAO chelseaxmcnamara (9:33:34 PM): PANAMA?! chelseaxmcnamara (9:33:36 PM): HAHAHAHAHA dangerrangerxD (9:33:43 PM): its in asia! haha chelseaxmcnamara (9:33:56 PM): PANAMA IS IN SOUTH AMERICA dangerrangerxD (9:34:35 PM): oh. no wonder i failed geography in 7th grade rofl dangerrangerxD (9:34:36 PM): same shit chelseaxmcnamara (9:34:42 PM): LMFAO chelseaxmcnamara (9:34:50 PM): YOU NEED TO STARE AT YOUR MAP MORE dangerrangerxD (9:35:29 PM): …for the last time… dangerrangerxD (9:35:32 PM): I DONT HAVE ONE dangerrangerxD (9:35:33 PM): x] chelseaxmcnamara (9:35:40 PM): I’LL GO BUY YOU ONE dangerrangerxD (9:35:53 PM): GO GO GO! :] with chace on it ;] chelseaxmcnamara (9:36:53 PM): O.O HOW CAN CHACE BE ON THE MAP? dangerrangerxD (9:37:12 PM): …..youre the smart one x] chelseaxmcnamara (9:37:29 PM): I’LL GO PUT HIM IN ANTARTICA WITH THE PENGUINS dangerrangerxD (9:37:42 PM): ….OH MY GOD SEE! you are the smart one x] chelseaxmcnamara (9:46:35 PM): O.O chelseaxmcnamara (9:46:39 PM): YOU’RE STRANGE chelseaxmcnamara (9:46:39 PM): BUT chelseaxmcnamara (9:46:42 PM): I LOVE YOU ANYWAYS chelseaxmcnamara (9:46:44 PM): :’] dangerrangerxD (9:47:10 PM): hgjikahgjkhg i got all excited cause i thought kale was online but it wasnt his online thing..it was yours and the page wasnt done loading -.- dangerrangerxD (9:47:12 PM): BUZZKILL! chelseaxmcnamara (9:47:36 PM): O_O UGH! PSHHHHHHHHHHH. BE HAPPY MY ONLINE MAN IS BLINKING FOR YOU. dangerrangerxD (9:47:47 PM): I WAS! dangerrangerxD (9:47:48 PM): i was like dangerrangerxD (9:47:52 PM): MY BABYS ONLINE x] chelseaxmcnamara (9:47:58 PM): AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :’ chelseaxmcnamara (9:47:59 PM): ] chelseaxmcnamara (9:48:00 PM): O.O My darling wife, I don’t know what I’d ever do without her :’] and yes i stole most of that from her page cause i was far too lazy to open my chat logs. LOVE YOU CHELS
I was so wrapped up in you, and everything that we had together. I was so sure that you were the one for me and that when you said “I love you,” that it was the truth. When you promised me forever I was sure that it would indeed last forever. I was so sure that you were my soulmate, and somewhere dwindling within the depths of my heart is the hopes for that still. But I’m not going to play these games with you. I’m not going to let you push me around and tease me when you’re bored. So, I’m throwing you out of my head and I’m ripping you out of my heart. As much as I love you, I can’t just sit and wait around for you to change your mind. The day you realize you made a mistake, you come and find me. Until then, I’m moving on with my life. I’m finally learning to live without you. Hell, I’ve even found someone who actually cares about me. So for now I’m tossing everything we had out the door and doing like you are, and pretending they never exsisted. Because of you, I know what heartbreak feels like. And because of you, I’ve learned that I am capable of picking myself up from the ground. So, I thank you for that much.
Life is the most complicated thing, and it throws the shittiest of things at you. But with every challenge that’s thrown at you, comes with it anoter life lesson. When we’re knocked to our feet, it’s just a way of the universe trying to show you that you can lift yourself back up. We all grow up at some point or another, some blossom before the rest. But life isn’t a competition. It’s not about who’s better or who’s prettier. Life is just about being yourself, and learning to accept yourself. The past is the past, leave it in the past and move on with your life. Take the pain and the sadness and turn it into something beautiful. Grab a paintbrush and release it on an cavas. Go out and paint the town red. Kick up your heels and just dance, let it out. I’m sick of living in the shadows of the past, and I’m tried of losing to someone who thinks they’re better than me. I’m done pretending that I’m someone I’m not. The storm has passed and the dust has settled. I’m standing my ground and I’m standing firmly. I’m being myself from now on. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves another chance. I’m grabbing my paintbrush, and baby I’m painting this town red.
I’m sorry for whatever I did to change your mind and force you to walk out the door. I wish things hadn’t ended up this way. We always said forever, with the deepest of feelings. But now the dust has settled and I’M the one left alone in the dark. I’m searching for that light that you once gave out that led me to where it was safe, but no matter how hard i try, all i see is the dark.
I miss you in everyway possible and now, all I want is to hear your voice. You’ve moved on with your life, just as you said you would. Without me in the picture. Couldn’t you just redraw me? It doesn’t even have to be in color or part of the big picture, I just…I want to know that I’m not forgotten. But maybe that’s your plan? to pretend that I never exsisted. If that’s what you honestly want, then by all means.
But know that no matter what, I’ll never forget you, and all that we had. You’ll always be a part of me. And no matter how hard you try to erase your feelings for me, you can’t erase mine for you. I promised you forever,and like I said from day one. I stand by my promises.
My heart is pounding like a drum, beating against my chest. I can’t stop this feeling,but I’m trying to set you free. I’m trying okay? I don’t know what else I need to say or do, but this is killing me..slowly but surely..it’s killing me.
So once again, I’m sorry for whatever I did that would make you want to walk out of my life. I hope it turns out to be everything you’ve always wanted.
I still haven’t wrapped my mind around what’s going on. Haven’t exactly brought myself to believe that it is happening. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry and that I would be fine…that everything would be fine. Well, the dust has settled I’m standing alone..and everything isn’t fine, not at all.
I thought that this would be easier, didn’t think it would hurt this much. And I know that I keep saying that I’m fine and that I’m happy, but in all honesty I’m falling apart more and more day by day. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do anymore, I’m at a lost. You’ve moved on and now you’re happy. I’m happy for you, I am. but just cause I’m happy about it doesn’t mean I have to like it.
The battle is over and yet again I’ve lost. All I want is you, that’s how it’s always been and that’s how it will always be.
“I wanted you to fight for me! I wanted you to say there is no one else you could ever be with and you would rather be alone then without me. I wanted the Lucas Scott from the beach that night, telling the world that he’s the one for me. “-Brooke Davis
